Seeing John Mulaney do his ‘Robot Test’ bit has given me a strong desire to see him play a live action Riddler.
But not like, as any character other than John Mulaney? Like, let’s make a John Mulaney version of Edward Nigma. Just this socially awkward disaster man who somehow becomes a supervillain because of a misunderstanding he couldn’t correct without ‘seeming rude’. And now supposedly he’s committed to killing Batman but he doesn’t actually want to be the cause of a man’s death so he just obfuscates things with ‘clues’ and ‘riddles’ and ‘battles of wits’ until Batman inevitably defeats him and he’s just like ‘oh thank god please don’t hit me’.
Batman’s like ‘you need help Nigma’ and he’s just like ‘yeah that’s fair, I should probably look into seeing somebody at this point, I became a supervillain because of social anxiety and that might just be a red flag you know?’
“Hey, Batman, think you’ve seen everything, huh? Well, figure out how to deal with this! You know Gotham General Hospital? Yeah? Well you’ll never guess what I let loose in there!”
“Riddle me this, what has four hooves and presents a massive health and safety violation?”
“I see you there, Batman. And I also don’t want me to be doing what I’m doing.”
So we got an Amazon Echo and we changed the wake word to “Computer” and now I feel like I’m on the Enterprise all the time. Additionally, whenever I watch Star Trek, she only responds to “computer” when Data says it and it’s kind of adorable. Not Picard, not La Forge, not Troi, not Dr. Crusher, not Riker. Not anyone but Data. The other night Data asked his Computer what the time was and my Computer told him it was 10:47. Watching Star Trek is even more fun now
The good news is that if the number of work and friend relationships you have exceeds your willingness to do the bare minimum to keep up with everyone’s life events and stuff, one way or another that problem eventually solves itself.